Effort Mustache 7


	Mark your calendar...APRIL 1ST CURT DAVIS INVITATIONAL MUSTACHE GROWING CONTEST OF PADDLE SPORTS - tons of prizes! Back to Mustache Home Page Archived Mustache Growth April 1st, 2006 - See the original entries! April 9th, 2006 - See the first week of stache growth. April 16th, 2006 - Week two of growing... sleazebag, scuzzball status. April 23rd, 2006 - Competitors have gone completely insane at this point. April 30th, 2006 - It all seems to stem from passion and love... May 7th, 2006 - Greetings net nerds, see the sixth installment... May 14th, 2006 - Remember back in the day, the good ol days, the salad days, like three weeks ago? Back when this contest was funny and fresh and smelled of a brisk spring's morn. I cherish those moments and apparently so did Ray Capone. You remember Ray. He was funny and smart... assed, smartassed... and wore a mustache like he didn't care if he was being judged. He loved to let his flowing mane float in the breeze and frolick with the butterflies and dandelions. Then Ray shaved his mustache and shattered all of our childhood dreams and basically ruined christmas. Well, old Ray Capone has been in mustache rehab for the past few weeks. He's through withdrawl now and is getting his broken life back on track. He wrote us this week with some uplifting, reflective words... "Hey, its Raymond A. Capone III again, and, although I have officially dropped out of the contest, I continue to contemplate the mustache of yesteryear. In the spirit of answering the age old question, "where are they now?" I have attached a photograph of my post-mustache retreat to Disney World. As you can see from the facial expression, I have been haunted by the loss of my mustache, and the regret that comes with living in a world of mustache failure.....All while walking a fine line between moments of composure and continuous insanity. If I could, I would take it all back....." - Ray Capone And I quote, "Don't follow your dreams." Because this mustache contest has most certainly ruined your life. "Find out where they're going and catch up to them later." Words of extreme wisdom from the late Mitch Hedberg. Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv Derogatory comments courtesy of Joey Hall, Deadman Productions Sorry. Still noey Joey. 1. Evan and Austin Smith, Father and Son combo-stache-iation-villes-burg-town-son-son-idized. Pyranha I:3 and Eskimo Kendo - Placerville, CA The real father and son combo. No more impostors! Austin, your stache is looking very dark and full. Oh yeah, you too Evan. Austin writes, "The steroids were just supposed to grow massive stache's, but we also got bulging biceps and other male "enhancements". It was a tough week for our dynamic duo - a cutie at high school told Evan that she didn't like his stache and he nearly caved and shaved. I suffered the humiliation of Middle School Open House greeting parents with my facial freak flag. The strain of this contest must be showing as I got many sympat hetic looks and encouragement to hang in there until the end of school. We noticed many competitors pulling in some new/old school mustachiers. While these guys can certainly grow, they haven't paid their dues. We all went clean, then dirty, and now furry." * 2. Ola Lindström, Wave Sport Diesel, Sweden Somehow Ola seems to look way different each week and he's not event doing the costume thing. It just comes natural. Stache is looking really full. Ola writes, "..."* * 3. Andrew Huber, Wave Sport EZ, Burlington, VT Andrew. Very patriotic and almost sincere. You are very sure of yourself. You do have a pretty nice stache at this point. Actually everyone's stache is gettiing pretty legit. Makes me thing that the two month timeframe was a good choice. Not as many shenanigans week. People are really getting back to the roots of the mustache. Andrew writes, "OK, I'm back on my meds and feeling much better today, so lets pretend that whole wannabe-transvestive-with-a-girl-down-a-well-and-a-half-finished-woman-suit-in-his-closet thing never happened. We'll continue on with the stereotypical mustache guy series. This week is the overly macho armed forces guy. Did he just blow his combat bonus on a bright yellow mustang and a 24 karat mustache comb? Roger that. Does anybody else here have a chance at winning this contest? Negative ghost rider, the pattern is full. This defender of truth, freedom, and the american way is risking his whiskers to bring in terrorists like Osama Bin Laden, who mock all that this contest stands for by having the audacity to grow hair all over their faces, obscuring the wondrous beauty that is the mustache. So show your support for our troops with the hair on your lip. The battle begins at home!" 4. Ronald A. Swaggard, Wilderness Systems Pamlico 140, Florence, SC Let's take a look at Ron for a second. This guy has a very very serious mustache. Talk about getting back to the roots. He is justified in every way in calling that thing the Tarantula. I am sure of one thing. And that is that I am glad not to be Ron's wife or any other person who might have to kiss, touch or otherwise be sucked into the stratosphere of that lip rug. Awesome mustached though Ron. Seriously professional. No fooling around. Ron writes, "Dear Mustache Judges... I'm a little disappointed with this week's pics. I just couldn't get a really good one that stood out to my liking. Oh, well. Perhaps it's the "7th inning stretch" that this contest is in that is making creativity so difficult. A lot of guys opted for the father-son deal last week, which was pretty nifty, considering that no one planned it. I was hoping to get his mother to join me in honor of Mother's Day, but she thinks this whole contest is ridiculous, and refused to include herself in my foolishness! Just goes to show you that even a veteran 'Stacher like myself can be subject to the scorn of others as a result of participation in an event as prestigious as this. As far as growth goes, if I don't give the Tarantula a proper trim, and soon, it's going to take over my face. The hairs are beginning to curl now, and will soon weave into an impenetrable mat. They refuse to stay combed in any direction but down, giving me more the look of a Marx brother than that guy Joey keeps talking about. And, for the record, I have never met Mr. Curt Davis; and I don't think I'm any relation to him whatsoever...but he must be a heck of a nice guy; and good looking, too! One last taunt for all you "funny picture" guys out there...Style is the key to VICTORY!!! Ron Swaggard & the Tarantula" 5. Patrick Bresnahan, Inazone232, H3....cola, SC and Etowah, NC Pat has seriously had it at this point. Dude looks like he hasn't slept for weeks. I'm glad you're still hanging Pat. That thing is huge dude. Your mustache. Patrick writes, "I have lost my upper lip...this nasty thing has caused a loss of sleep this week...like someone is putting a featherduster to me at 3:00am. Come on, lets get to the finish line, enough with the tomfoolery. Looks like mine has a half dozne nasty stache breathren left, lets split the prizes and get back to normal. Well, normal for some is the beaver pelt they are getting back this month." 6. Hartley Barber, Liquidlogic Gus & Perception Full Tilt, Columbia SC Hartley, you have fan mail coming into the Curt Davis email address. Perhaps your humble acts of community service have won the hearts of the people. Hartley writes, "This week I thought honoring the true safty-boaters of the Brotherhood of the Stache who protect our local rivers for very little financial reward, but great wealth in the form of karma. These guys have (as a professional group) almost singlehandedly kept the mustache in the back corner of positive American Memory. I toss you dudes an honest Saludalute (Saluda style honorary salute), Thanks for being out there, gentlemen. By the way...I have noticed an unsettling trend in some other towns (like Charleston, S.C., Charlotte, N.C., and Atlanta Ga.) where those noble public servants are no longer sporting the stache. I think those boys could learn a thing or two from ya'll" 7. Reed Moore, Savage Fury, Asheville, NC Very odd as usual, very Reed. I know you well enough now Reed to use your name as an adjective. Reed writes, "I felt like wearing a tie today. That is all"* * 8. Chris Tretwold, Liquidlogic Jefe, Bellingham, WA Chris, who is the guy beside you in the red shirt? Chris writes, "Before you go judging me and think I am making fun of this homeless man, just know that we partied hard for 2 days before finally catchin some zzz's. And I paid for it all with my welfare check!" 9. Craig Adams, Bliss Stick Scud & Rad, New Zealand It is very unlike Craig to have not submitted by now. Where are you Craig? Craig writes,* " ... " * 10. Israel Putnam, Pyranha 420 bro, Bryson City, NC Tragedy has stricken. We are sadly losing a hero, and icon if you will. And I will. Goodbye sweet prince. Just know that your mustache is going to a better place. Israel writes, "Assclown, With this final picture, I officially resign from my participation in the 2006 Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Competition. I, not unlike one Barry Sanders of the Detroit Lions, choose to go out at the top of my game rather than hold on for one last glimpse of glory that ��may never come. I realized immediately after taking this picture that there is nothing more I can do to further the reputation of our fine forebearer, Curt Davis. So, with heavy heart, I submit my final tribute. Good night sweet prince, and press on all you who are stronger and have more to give (you know who you are, Huber, Althaus, Johnson, and Young)." Click here or on the image for a full screen, hi-res version of this rare Israel Putnam memorabilia. Everyone should print and own this. 11. Zuzana Vanha, Pyranha H3, Bryson City, NC Zuzana is a very bad man. Zuzana writes, "With guns like these, there's no way I don't have the manliest mustache. Suckas" 12. Liz Petty, Dagger Dynamo, Bryson City, NC Liz is not your name. Hey Liz, could you write a song for the contest? Perhaps the official Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Growing Contest of Paddle Sports them song? Liz writes, "I am no longer Liz Petty, you all shall now call me Dirty Sanchez, and no matter what, I still have that Austin Smith kid beat, punk." 13. Philip Young, Riot Magnum, Bryson City, NC Straight from the streets of Wesser. Philip writes, "I may not look intimidating now, but next week, be afraid, be very afraid." 14. Garrett Bryant, Liquidlogic Jefe, Bryson City, NC Dude, I can see your brain in that one nostril. Dude I can see your nostril in that one brain. Garrett writes, "School is in session and the professor is taking his mustache students to school!."* * 15. Moffatt Prescott, Liquidlogic Jefe, Columbia, SC Dear Moffatt. Thanks for explaining the concept to us. Dude, it was a secret! You ruined it! Moffatt Writes, "Since a few of these guys thought they could take a leap into exposition and public humility and try to steal my thunder and wreck my master plan I figured I would show them whats up. I traveled the world in the past week all for the Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Competiton. I sought out exotic locations, highly prized street corners and beautiful beaches, I even chartered my own boat for a day trip to Cuba to have lunch, why because I wanted authenic cuisine. So next time you think wearing a speedo on a lakeside with some of your deranged family members posing in the background as picnickers or think you can copy my suave mullet styling think again because I will likely be one step ahead of you or go one step further. And a side note to those actually growing legitimate 'staches give it up, you cant compete with the likes of the select few who cant really grow a proper upper lip shag rug, this isnt about looking good in a moustache it is about looking ridiculous!" 16. Steve Althaus, Riot Hammer (circa 1998), Raleigh, NC Just when I though Steve coudln't go any further. This one caught me by suprise after about five or six seconds of staring at the picture. I dind't know what I was looking at. Now I feel all dirty for staring at it for so long. Aside from that Your stache seems to be fruitful and healthy Steve. Please put your ass away now.. Steve writes, "Well quite frankly I am shocked. Judging from the hateful comments made over the last few weeks I believe that some competitors are upset by my antics. Here is a smile from cheek to cheek �� just so you can rest assured that I have no hard feelings" 17. Will Johnson, Wave Sport Z, Brevard, NC Nice clean shave Will. Conservative look for you. I see that you too are dwelling on the roots of the foudation of whence this battle of hormonious rediculousness was built. Will writes, "I have moved to Wisconsin for the summer. As you can see from my photo, here in Wisconsin we breed delicious and sizeable Pikes. My mustache is often referred to as delicious and sizeable as well." 18. Hutch Brown, the Academy of Huge Experiences Hutch, you are a visionary. Hutch writes, "The Catfish (as shown below) was also an excellent tool for those more reflective moments that all Samurai and Ninjas are given to after a fierce battle between good vs evil. Verily, i say unto you, in times of repose the Catfish heightens one's ponderment of the great unknown, earthly pleasures and transubstantiation. It is said that the Buddha wore the Catfish in his third incarnation." your humble liege" Back to Mustache Home Page Thanks a ton to Xackers.net and Boatertalk.com for promoting the event. Sponsors: Contest started on April 1st. Email us with any questions or comments at curtdavismustache@gmail.com			If you don't yet know who or what H2O Audio is, now you will. Since you might be one of the 100 million+ people who owns an iPod, you should know about H2O Audio. Especially if you would like to paddle, swim, snowboard, wakeboard, baithe, shower or otherwise stick your head underwater while listening to your iPod. They make a waterproof housing and headset for the iPod Mini, 4G, Nano, 5G Video and Shuffle. Featured here is the Nano housing... and the waterproof headphones... Each housing also comes with a free neoprene armband. (note to boaters with Astral PFDs and/or Shred Ready helmets: The Astral pocket is perfect for holding the H2O Audio housing. You simply run the headphone cord out of the top, corner pocket hole. A great integration. Plus, the housings mate nicely with Shred Ready's CanCan ear flaps) Check out the H2O Audio web site and team riders Here is Joey cartwheeling with his H2O Audio and iPod Nano on the James River last week.