Effort Mustache 5


	Mark your calendar...APRIL 1ST CURT DAVIS INVITATIONAL MUSTACHE GROWING CONTEST OF PADDLE SPORTS - tons of prizes! Back to Mustache Home Page Archived Mustache Growth April 1st, 2006 - See the original entries! April 9th, 2006 - See the first week of stache growth. April 16th, 2006 - Week two of growing... sleazebag, scuzzball status. April 23rd, 2006 - Competitors have gone completely insane at this point. April 30th, 2006 - I never thought we' d have twenty people make it past three weeks of this contest. They are determined. It has become clear to me now that it is the little things that count. The costumes, the comments, rivalries... Andrew Huber writing us an angry email because the site wasn't updated in a timely manner... It all seems to stem from passion and love, and that's what this contest is about ladies and gentlemen. Love. Remember that. Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv Derogatory comments courtesy of Joey Hall, Deadman Productions We do not have any of Joey's witty remarks as of yet but are patiently awaiting. The man has to work sometime. Lay off him! 1. Evan and Austin Smith, Father and Son combostacheiationvillesburgtown. Pyranha I:3 and Eskimo Kendo - Placerville, CA Nicely done fellas. Creative,yet cost effective. Great way to celebrate the holidays. Austin writes, "This week I wear the "Pancho Villa" moustache and authentic Mexican tourist garb as we celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Vive Cerveza! Mariachi man Evan uses a non- photoshop technique to emphasize his outstanding lip fur." * 2. Ola Lindström, Wave Sport Diesel, Sweden Ola the girl didnt' write back this week. Ola the guy looks like Speed Racer or Speed Racer's dad in that helmet. " 3. Andrew Huber, Wave Sport EZ, Burlington, VT Let me just say that Andrew Huber is pissed off and he really wants to win this competition. Other competitors should watch your backs, or your mustache. He is libel to sneak up on you with a razor and take your stache out if you're not careful. Dude has gone mental for sure. Andrew writes, "Since the deragatory comments were regretfully absent on most people this week, it's time for government intervention. You're all under arrest for gross mustache violations. Evan and Austin, one pathetic mustache plus one nonexistant one equals one greivous loss in the Curt Davis Invitational. Ola, your secret beverage tested positive for mustache enhancing drugs. Maybe you should spend less time... woah, censored again... ronald a swaggard is clean, but only because he's a dues paying member of the fraternal order of mustache police. Patrick Bresnan, you look mexican, so we're going to take you in just to be safe. Hartley, your mustache checks out, but because of that headgear and our new policy of cross-departmental cooperation with the fashion police, you're looking at 25 to life. Reed, you know as well as we do that you are required by the terms of your parole to notify all neighbors and mustache contest comrades about that little incident involving the cocker spaniel. Craig, was on the ten most wanted list, but as you can see was apprehended with only minimal evidence of police brutality. Israel, we've tried to make charges stick for years, but that damn helmet fools the judge every time. damn "mentally fit to stand trial" laws. We're just waiting for you to commit mustache crimes in Texas, then we can give you the chair. Zuzana, maybe you weren't aware but that lip merkin of yours was illegally poached from the rare and endangered Bolivian Mustachioed Newt. The EPA has been notified and a warrant has been issued. Liz Petty, we thought street urchins died out a hundred years ago. Looks like someone's going back to the poorhouse. Phillip, if you don't know what you did wrong, no jury in the world could make you understand. Garrett, or should we say Hunter S. Thompson, you thought a mustache could fool us? We're from the government, and faking your owndeath is a crime in these parts. Moffatt, the bible belt has sodomy laws for a reason, and your flagrant disregard as evidenced in your picture has not gone unnoticed. Steve, I hope that log you're dropping felt good coming out...censored... Will, I don't know if you've actually done anything illegal, but we're going to go ahead and billy club that smirk off your face. Officer Huber over and out.." 4. Ronald A. Swaggard, Wilderness Systems Pamlico 140, Florence, SC Still Curt Davis' uncle, brother or relative. Ron writes, " Now for some trash talk regarding the contest: All you folks dressing up funny & taking photos in strange locales need to read the rules...this isn't a funny picture contest....ya better be gettin' your follicles in gear to catch up with the Tarantula. I'm actually able to part it, now; and, I am able to lick it & remember what was for lunch two days ago! Keep 'em growing!" 5. Patrick Bresnahan, Inazone232, H3....cola, SC and Etowah, NC Cheech Patrick writes, " My parents are so proud! I have reverted to my teen years of the 70s. Dr. Bresnahan? No, Dr. Doobie. SWEET...now pass the chips. " 6. Hartley Barber, Liquidlogic Gus & Perception Full Tilt, Columbia SC Walrus. Either that or constipated. Or constipated walrus. Hartley writes, " Issue: Although I fully support Mr. Prescott's jovial bantering quoted here from www.saludayakerz.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1285 ,"I guess I have just stepped into a class of my own. See you guys out in the crowd when I am up on the Mustache Podium of Champions." ...it seemed appropriate to share his confidence with the rest of the competition. At first, I thought this competition is all about the mustache, not the decorative hairstyles of which Moffatt is so fond. (much less, posing with a life size card-board cut out of the greatly respected Chris G., in an effort to impress the rest of us with Moffatt's international paddling company) Then it occurred to me that the Mulletstache includes hair coiffure-o-de-cap, not just the lip. So, I say go for it, and good luck!!! First, though, does this include other hairstyles to complement one's stache?" 7. Reed Moore, Savage Fury, Asheville, NC Glamour shots Reed? Reed writes, "Here is my picture for this week. I have to say, these days I feel kind of at home at the waffle house. alright. see you."* * 8. Chris Tretwold, Liquidlogic Jefe, Bellingham, WA You seem stressed Chris. You want to talk about it? Did Andrew Huber say something mean to you at school today? I can write a letter to the teacher if you want. Chris writes, "here is another terrific picture taken at the last minute on sunday...maybe next will be better, cheers" 9. Craig Adams, Bliss Stick Scud & Rad, New Zealand Prison has made your paranoid Craig. Please tell Vito he has to have a mustache if he wants to be on here again. Craig writes,* " i made it. prison wasn't for me the orange jump suit was a little but utilitarian for me! so with the help of "Vito" this really big bald guy i managed to get out in the pizza delivery van so in hiding now till i can meet up with Vito's Godfather, sounds like they have a real tightknit family, hang out lots and eat good food at the family resturant anyway kinda hungry and he apparently has some work for me !!!!" * 10. Israel Putnam, Pyranha 420 bro, Bryson City, NC Nice Star Trek outfit Izzy. Is your picture backwards, am I dyslexic or are the words on that sign written backwards? Please don't use that tone of voice with me. Israel writes, "" 11. Zuzana Vanha, Pyranha H3, Bryson City, NC Perhaps it is real. Hey everybody!, Zuzana has a huge bushy black mustache!" Garrett writes for Zuzana, "I detest these fake mustache allegations. I maintain that my mustache is real and will fight the discrimination to its core. This is just the sort of male ego trip that shows how far [women] still have to go, till we reach mustache equality!" 12. Liz Petty, Dagger Dynamo, Bryson City, NC Concerted effort on your part. I think I can see something there. Strain really hard for the next couple weeks and rub some cow manure on your lip during the full moon. That will definitely help. Liz writes, "Bitch, that ain't charcoal, that's certified blue crayon!"* * 13. Philip Young, Riot Magnum, Bryson City, NC Elf from Lord of the Rings. Philip writes, "My charm is irrefutable. Don't feel bad if you desire me too." 14. Garrett Bryant, Liquidlogic Jefe, Bryson City, NC I can't quit you Garrett. Garrett writes, "I met Moffat "Preistley" Prescott and all I got was this lousy mustache... plus, I thought I would work the more open-minded crowd with my Brokeback Mustache look. Size 14 inches" 15. Moffatt Prescott, Liquidlogic Jefe, Columbia, SC I will agree with Hartley about Moffatt's photo from last week in saying that he did appear to be superimposed on the photo with Chris Gragtmans. I'm not aware of any cardboard cutouts of Chris as of yet, but I did hear of a Chris Gragtmans t-shirt. I'm sure he'll sign one for you Moffatt. I left last week's photo of Moffat up on this weeks post so we can freflect on the superimposition. This week's photo was pretty nice Moffatt. The mullethawk is pretty redneck. Definite points for that one. Moffatt Writes, "Just felt the need to step it up in the looking screediculous category!!! No more namsy pamsy skirt popping"* * Last week This week 16. Steve Althaus, Riot Hammer (circa 1998), Raleigh, NC People of the world. Please note that Steve Althaus is a natural at this sport. If we had to call this thing right now Steve is far and away the winner. Can he be beaten? Who will go so far as to top the almighty display of cameltoe? Anyone? Behold. Steve writes, "Usually I am not a self- conscious guy (even with my Three Dog Night mustache thing going on). However, before taking this week��s pictures I almost pulled the plug on myself- I think you��ll understand a bit better when you see the shots. With a birthday party in progress, a playground, picnics, big ol�� Carolina girls, a few guys who looked fairly recently out of the County Correctional, some nasty water, and according to my wife, the world��s most hideous swimsuit I had a photo shoot that was nothing but good times and strange looks. Enjoy gentlemen and stay afloat- you know I sure will." 17. Will Johnson, Wave Sport Z, Brevard, NC Will. I have heard that male prostitution leads to Pro Rasslin'. Now I know that it's true. Will writes, "As you can all see, I am the reigning heavyweight mustache champion of Transylvania county. I've got what it takes to pile drive my competition, and to lay THE SMACK DOWN on anyone who stands in my way. To all the wussies who think their upper lips have a chance, I say, "Bring it on!!!" I'll see you all next week. will "the thrill" johnson" 18. Hutch Brown, the Academy of Huge Experiences As of last week Hutch has been fired. Buuuuuuuuut, he begged and pleaded and even addressed his email to Curt Davis, so we let him back in. Plus, the Hutchinator sent his last two weeks of stache growth. Hutch you will have to do something really good to get back into the running. One positive is that your mustache looks completely sleazy and dirty. You look like a scoundrel. That being said, you are not fired anymore but you are back on probation. Don't try anything funny... errrr, not funny. You know the drill. Hutch writes, "Curt, here's my photos...We will not fail ! We are almost back to the Huge base where we will have access to the net constantly so you will see that the photos will be on time ! thank you very very very much, Trip Jennings, Liquidlogic Jefe, Eugene, OR Trip was fired from the contest last week but sends his best. Please be sure and check out Trip's new video by the Epicocity Project, "Mission Epicocity," coming soon on DVD. He writes, "It is with great respect to the Mustache community, and a heavy heart that I write this. Here is my photo and with it I submit my official resignation from the Curt Davis 2006. While I have tried, spent plenty of time inside looking at my self in the mirror, and thought mustache growing thoughts, as it turns out, I have no mustache. My performance pales in comparison to the other contestants, and I have no need to bring them down. On the bright side, as with any athlete, a defeat is just motivation to an aspiring mustache grower. I will dedicate myself to training around the clock for the 2007 Curt Davis Invitational. Farewell, and best of luck to all the candidates. May the best man win. Sincerely, Trip Jennings Back to Mustache Home Page Thanks a ton to Xackers.net and Boatertalk.com for promoting the event. Sponsors: Contest started on April 1st. Email us with any questions or comments at curtdavismustache@gmail.com			This is an Aquabound Shred paddle. Aquabound is the most popular selling paddle brand in the sport of kayaking. They provide superb performance on creeks, rivers, waves and lakes and are extremely affordable due to their unique ABX resins and Advanced Molding Technology. The carbon Shred is made with a light, strong, carbon twill shaft and carbon reinforced thermoplastic blades. This paddle only costs around $160. It is available in a two or four piece breakdown version as well.