Mark your calendar...APRIL 1ST
CURT DAVIS INVITATIONAL MUSTACHE GROWING CONTEST OF PADDLE SPORTS - tons of prizes!

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Archived Mustache Growth
April 1st, 2006 - See the original entries!
April 9th, 2006 - See the first week of stache growth.

April 16th, 2006 - Finally our fine and brave pioneers have reached sleazebag, scuzzball status. Truly a mark of excellence only obtainable by growing a mustache. In a rather abrupt event of unparalleled athletecism we have had several of our hair farming athletes come out of probation and even move high into the ranks. I'd also like to say that some of the competitors have without a doubt lost their minds. You'll see. See all the action below and come back next week. By then competitors should be combing, styling and using mustache product. The hilarity will most certainly send you into a side splitting flurry of karate chops and cow tipping. All that stuff.

I have made some comments marked with a *. And of course Joey has chimed in with his donkified (being as a donkey) comments.

Love,

Spencer Cooke, Effort.tv


*Derogatory comments courtesy of Joey Hall, Deadman Productions

1. Evan and Austin Smith, Father and Son combostache.
Pyranha I:3 and Eskimo Kendo - Placerville, CA
Austin writes, "Evan returned from snowboarding with a verrrrry blonde 'stache (look
closely) and a macho facial laceration, while I'm sporting the popular
"Bush Pilot" look."
*Evan reminds me of Ali G in this photo, if you don't know who that is, here's a link. Booyakasha! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/27/AliG.jpg.


2. Raymond A Capone III, Wave Sport BigEZ, Pittsburgh, PA
*Ray, this is kind of a conservative look for you. I would have expected a little more from a varsity letterman.
*Capone's looking a little less 80s in this one, but how do I know that's REALLY Niagara falls in the background...he might just be handy with photoshop..


3. Ola Lindström, Wave Sport Diesel, Sweden
*Lord, forgive me for I have sinned. Does the confession booth usually have a no smoking and no dog sign in it?
*Ola looks like one of those characters in that movie Alive. You know, the movie where an airplane crashes and the survivors are forced to eat each other...he's got that same desparate look in his eyes...woa.....I'm a little scared now.....

4. Andrew Huber, Wave Sport EZ, Burlington, VT
*Andrew, Vermont winters have made you into a very hard man.
Andrew writes, "It is with a heavy heart that I announce that my digital camera is on
its way out, and this week's picture looks like crap, but at least you
can see the immense progress being made in the field of mustache
growth. The first thing I thought of when i saw the picture was that
Borat would be proud. I'm going to assume that since you had no pithy
comeback for my entry last week, I must have rocked you with my biting
wit and bushy 'stache. It's ok guys, somebody's got to be the best, and
if it can't be you then you might as well be a gracious loser. Way to
go down with dignity."
*Dude, Huber looks like he just put his face on a copy machine and hit "Print". Worst digital camera EVER..

5. Trip Jennings, Liquidlogic Jefe, Eugene, OR
*Puberty has finally hit. Trip, you may notice certain changes in your body. Don't be afraid. Hair may grow in places you've never had it before. Mainly on your upper lip.
Trip Writes, "...finally the fuzz!"
*Oh no! Trips turned into an asterisk!.

6. Ronald A. Swaggard, Wilderness Systems Pamlico 140, Florence, SC
*Ron, I must say that you have a well formed, mature and trained mustache. That said, you being a mustache guru, you will need to go for something a bit more risque to excite me. Perhaps a Walrus or a Chaplain would work?
Ron writes, "I'm so proud of the growth; it's almost back to a "normal" appearance for me. However, I realize the objective of this contest is not to look normal...it's to look silly. And, as Joey pointed out, my face looks more "normal" with a 'stache as opposed to without. So, as hopes of placing highly in this contest begin to fade somewhat (...but not entirely), I decided to add a silly pic to go with the normal one. Not quite enough for a good "twirl" yet, but I assure you that I'm headed that way!"
*Now here's some mustache growing power. Swag, you have the power to achieve something few can in 2 months of growth....the Handlebar...I encourage you to go for it..

7. Mike Nail, Wave Sport Diesel & Jackson 4fun, Black Mountain, NC
*Daaaaaaaa Bears!
Mike writes, "Hey here is my entries, its getting a little rough... I am not used to
having the 'stache, I usually have the goatee thing going on... I am still
getting made fun of for being in this contest, still a fun one!"
*With a name like "Mike Nail" and a mustache like THAT, you owe it to yourself to enter some local Toughman competitions. Perhaps with your winnings you can go in with Huber and buy a new digital camera for you two to share..

8. Patrick Bresnahan, Inazone232, H3....cola, SC and Etowah, NC
Patrick writes, "After looking at last week's photos, I can't see what the big deal is for those guys who shaved long-worn facial hair? They look normal as it grows back. For the few of us doing this from an ever-clean face, we look like horse's rearends! Ah, but I am going all the way because it is for a good cause. Remind me...what charity are we doing this for?"
*The look on Patman's face is the same look that I imagine is on every person's face that he meets....politely holding back a flood of laughter. Big ups on the growth though, shame you can't grow it on top like that..

9. Hartley Barber, Liquidlogic Gus & Perception Full Tilt, Columbia SC
*Man Hartley, you had some substantial growth this past week. Goofy made a man out of you.
Hartley writes, "I think I'll call this week's stache, Moffatt Suave."
*Ah, there we go, the trash talking has begun, I wondered how long it would take. Hartley has had much practice whilst being around the Saluda Boyz, and he's putting it to good use. Hartley: 1 Moffat: 0.

10. Reed Moore, Savage Fury, Asheville, NC
*Reed, only lemon juice and sunbaithing will turn hair that blonde. Very sleazy though. You look like you might cheat at cards or steal somebody's girlfriend.
Reed writes, "..."
*Light mustaches definitely get more "sleeze points". You're looking sort of like a former neighbor of mine that was evicted in a scene straight out of the tv show COPS.

11. Chris Tretwold, Liquidlogic Jefe, Bellingham, WA
*Chris has left the building ladies and gentlemen.
Chris writes, "You should check out www.dickbird.org and get a
glimpse of the fine holiday neckbeards that you kids
should sport this next turkey day!!"
*Hey Chris, YOU should check out www.effort.tv/mustache.htm and stop comparing our fine competition to inferior contests..

12. Craig Adams, Bliss Stick Scud & Rad, New Zealand *Our good kiwi man coming through for us, looking very seedy and disreputable. Like a true mustache wearer.
Craig writes, "..."
*I give Craig major props for the shape of his stache, plus, if you look really closely at his chin, you can see that he's actually cut himself shaving, extra points for dedication.

13. Matt Fithian, the Academy of Huge Experiences
*Apparently Matt is having a huger experience than growing a mustache. I don't see how, but that must be it.
*.

14. Israel Putnam, Pyranha 420 bro, Bryson City, NC
*Wassup Fool! Israel will put a cap in your back one time. And he don't mind talkin' trash neither. He aint scared. He's from the streets... of Bryson City.
Israel writes, "Looks like ol' Swaggard is on The Cream and The Clear."
*Izzie's starting to look like this guy: http://www.jrj-socrates.com/Cartoon%20Pics/Misc/Pink%20Panther/Inspector_301.gif.

15. Zuzana Vanha, Pyranha H3, Bryson City, NC
*Zuzana, more sunlight, water and fertilize.
Zuzana writes, "
*Zuzana, you're going to have to concentrate more, consider quitting your job so you have more time to train. Blowing air into your upper lip helps too..

16. Liz Petty, Dagger Dynamo, Bryson City, NC
*Good girl Liz
Liz writes, "the son my father never had"
*Liz, I am almost see something there, dont give up hope..

17. Philip Young, Riot Magnum, Bryson City, NC
*I don't know what to say Philip except that I think I can see your brain. Or that's a booger.
*Oh, this one's just awful, you're scaring me dude..

18. Garrett Bryant, Liquidlogic Jefe, Bryson City, NC
*Garrett, you may be able to sell used cars. Not sure if you're looking for a career choice, but thought I could throw that out there.
Garrett writes, "I wasn't prepared with how creepy I would look with a
mustache. Earlier today walking down the sidewalk, I
approached a young couple. The guy saw me and as I
neared he reached out and grabbed his girlfriend's
hand and pulled her close as I passed. I must look
shady.
Also, I was going for the "Bacardi" mustache like
Bacardi in the Bacardi and Cola commercials, but due
to my recending hairline, I think I am going to pull
off the "Major Dad" mustache instead.
Finally, I hear through an anonymous source that
Captain Pamlico 140 has strong associations with
Victor Conte. WE DEMAND BLOOD AND URINE! or at least a
congressional hearing."
*Ok, nobodys allowed to put their thumbs up in any photos pertaining to this contest anymore. People like Garrett have ruined it for everyone with their gratuitous thumb usage..

19. Moffatt Prescott, Liquidlogic Jefe, Columbia, SC
*Now Moffatt, you get the weirdo, stalker, loony award this week. You can click on Moffat's self portrait to see why he may be dangerous and wanted in several states.
Moffatt Writes, "Tonight I submit yet another high quality digital image of myself and
my upper lip with it's extremely modest amount of hair. Seeing as I
have yet to be able to grow a substantial enough amount of lip fur to
even show a shadow in a picture I have drawn a picture of my self and
with this picture included names for my seventeen upper lip leasees.
Hopefully they will grow monumental amounts by next sunday but
unfortunately I dont see that happening, so I will have to walk around
with 1/4 the amount of hair needed to substantiate a real moustache.
Sincerely,
"Looking rediculous in Columbia"
*I see Moffat's a 90210 fan, he seems to of taken on the personae of Jason Priestly for this shot.....the sad thing is, he's probably not even doing it for the contest..

20. Jason Aytes, Riot Astro & Magnum, the Academy of Huge Experiences
*A good showing by Jason this week. Nice work. Got rid of the chin hair. Out of probation. Back on track. Nothing a little time in the pit couldn't cure was it big guy? Discipline is effective. Jason may get out of line from time time but... back on track, trying to be a better person, cleaning up the chin hair, model citizen.
Jason writes, "Hope we are finished with our probation."
*Jason insists on using this creepy one eyed stare pose....and I insist on continuing to ridicule him for it.

21. Steve Althaus, Riot Hammer (circa 1998), Raleigh, NC
*Steve my good man or woman. Hefty, 16" bicep woman. You may have very well reclaimed your leading position. Neither multiple photos, nor costumes, fresh flowers or daunting looks were necessary in this contest. But then again Steve didn't watch his buddies die face down in the mud to come home and get trampled all over by a bunch of lightweight girlymen, and women.
Steve writes, "Here’Äôs my entry for this week. Just like a rug in a room, I think my mustache really ties everything together. Rip yourself a new one and have a Happy Belated Easter!"
*Wow, now THIS is what the Curt Davis Invitational is all about, Steve has just raised the bar. When I first saw these photos I laughed until I cried....it reminds me of some twisted version of the JC Penny Spring Catalog. And its not just the idea that makes this work, he's really into it, look at the sincerity of the poses. And to think that this guy had a major influence on my adolesent life.....

22. Hutch Brown, the Academy of Huge Experiences
*Hutch, you and Scott Wooten better be off shaping the perfect stache.
*.

23. Scott Wooten, the Academy of Huge Experiences
*You too Scott Wooten. Heh, there's a surf paddler from the UK named Wooter. I bet you guys aren't related.
*.

24. Mark Pryzbysz, Huge Experiences.
*Mark sleepy. Mark likey bedtime. Sleepy makey Marky hair grow faster. Mark dreams of the '70s, leather pants and an El Camino.
*Mark's starting to look like a reject from Boogie Nights.

25. Will Johnson, Wave Sport Z, Brevard, NC
*Will pulled himself out of near disqualification by 1. Sending in his week #2 stache update looking like a male prostitute and 2. By sending his week #3 stache update, again looking like a male prostitute, but used this time. Welcome back buddy.
Will writes, "new photo -- I hope this takes me off mustache probation. I've been working really hard on this 'stache. I comb it every night. I hope to have it long enough to run my fingers through it."
*I'm digging how people are developing their own characters using the mustache as inspiration. That being said, you still look like a donkey..

26. Tom Sherburne, Shred Ready, Auburn, AL
*I thought we kicked this guy out but he keeps threatening us so we let him stay in.
The UniTomer writes, "Hello, this is my first weeks growth. I am still a bit confused since I have not been to the post office for a week. Remember I have a plain brown box for Joey and Spencer, sitting in my cabin in the woods. The snow has not melted yet so I cannot get to the post office down the mountain. I will have to ski down in my new Phly helmet, it is the most radical anti establishment helmet ever, besides the helmet designed for my friend Hannible."

27. David Hughes, the Academy of Huge Experiences
* David Hughes clawed his way out of the loser's bracket last week with a marginally excusable late entry. He used the lame excuse of having to teach kids some kind of education or readin' or some high school or something. Get your priorities straight Dave. Nice handsome look tough, I must say. Way to look sure of yourself Dave. That's something other competitors might want to take note of.
*Woa, David's stache is looking patchier than a pirate convention. Quit smirking at me like that David, you know I don't like it..


*Come back next week. It should be a real barnburner!

Thanks a ton to Xackers.net and Boatertalk.com for promoting the event.

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Contest started on April 1st. Email us with any questions or comments at curtdavismustache@gmail.com

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